Have you ever had a dream that you couldn’t quite recall all the details of, but wake up confused on if it was just a dream or a memory of something you don’t remember actually happening to you? It was a dream; and, yet it just FELT SO REAL? Most of you reading this are probably confused right now; but, I just KNOW there are others reading this who know EXACTLY what I mean.

Well, this was a constant experience for me that continued to happen throughout my life. The events were merely pieces (fragmented) of a dream that always left me in a state of shock and confusion when I woke up, Like "Wait what? What the F is that about? Why would I dream something like this? Wait, was that a dream? Did that really happen? Nah that’s crazy couldn’t have. I don’t remember anything like that.” And so, I would just forget about it and move on..until it happened again and again and again.

It continued to show up in this way for much of my life...this strange dream that left me confused and suffering in ways I didn’t even realize. I never talked about these memories with anyone mostly because I just wrote it off as ‘just a strange dream’. Plus I didn't know anyone else who experienced this so I kept to myself about it. Yet, it kept happening again...and again...and again….

Here I am in college now, a grown adult, and I’m still having this same damn dream, WTF. Still, I’m shocked and confused and even a little sad now. At this point I’m pursuing my psychology degree at TSU; so, It started to stick out a little louder to me as I understand the human brain and behavior more. But still, I brushed it off and moved on distracted with life. I’m a student athlete so I’m SUPER busy throughout the day and not ever thinking about this until it would happen again... the strange dream…

It’s little me, about 3 or 4 years old, staring out the front door of my granny’s house. I can see my pawpaw sitting on the porch smoking a cigarette while my mama and granny are getting in the car and then drives off. I look down and see I’m holding somebody’s hand. I look up at who it is and smile. It’s my older cousin. We are standing in the doorway watching my grandpa on the porch. It’s just us; no one else seems to be around. The dream changes suddenly at this point and now we are walking through the kitchen. They’re holding my hand as we walk down the hallway. For context, it was always as if I was an outsider in the dream watching all of this happen.

The dream changes suddenly again. Now, I’m in the back room and I’m laying on my side in a bed and feeling confused. There’s a glimpse of them laying behind me. Then a glimpse of them reaching for what seems to be a carton of clear Vaseline or something and then the dream changes again…

Now I’m crawling on the floor this time down my granny’s hallway as my mama is walking toward me saying something like “Why you on the floor get up” There’s a glimpse of me responding and then the dream changes suddenly again. My mama now angry yelling and charges at them and pins them to the wall by their shirt; and then the dream just ends. That’s it and I’ve always wondered if that was all just a strange dream…until one day…

Repressed Trauma: Understanding the Silent Struggles Within

Trauma is often viewed as something that happens in a moment of extreme pain or distress. However, for many individuals, trauma doesn’t always show itself in obvious ways. (For me it didn’t) Sometimes, it’s buried deep within the psyche, hidden from conscious awareness—this is known as repressed trauma. While the mind may suppress or bury traumatic memories to protect itself, the effects of this repressed trauma can still shape a person’s behavior, emotions, and overall well-being in subtle but powerful ways.

What is Repressed Trauma?

Repressed trauma refers to painful or overwhelming experiences that have been unconsciously blocked from memory or awareness. This psychological defense mechanism occurs when the mind pushes distressing memories or emotions out of conscious thought, often because the experience is too painful to process at the time. The trauma may stem from various sources, including abuse, neglect, loss, violence, or significant life events such as accidents or natural disasters.

While repression is the mind’s way of protecting itself from overwhelming emotional pain, repressed trauma doesn’t simply disappear. Instead, it may manifest in indirect ways that the individual may not immediately recognize as related to past trauma.

The Signs and Symptoms of Repressed Trauma

Repressed trauma is tricky because, by its very nature, the person may not be aware of the root causes of their emotional distress. However, there are several signs that can indicate repressed trauma is at play:

1. Emotional Numbness or Detachment: People with repressed trauma may feel emotionally distant or disconnected from their feelings. This can show up as an inability to fully engage in relationships, difficulty experiencing joy, or a pervasive sense of emptiness.

2. Unexplained Anxiety or Panic Attacks: While anxiety can be caused by many factors, unresolved trauma often manifests as a heightened state of anxiety. This can show up as constant worry, panic attacks, or an ongoing sense of dread, often without an obvious trigger.

3. Mood Swings or Emotional Instability: Repressed trauma can cause emotional instability, leading to mood swings or unpredictable emotional reactions. Someone may feel fine one moment and suddenly overwhelmed or irritable the next—often with no clear explanation.

4. Physical Symptoms: Repressed trauma often finds its way into the body. People may experience chronic pain, fatigue, digestive issues, headaches, or other stress-related physical symptoms that don’t seem to have a clear medical cause.

5. Intrusive Thoughts or Flashbacks: Repressed memories can sometimes resurface in the form of intrusive thoughts, flashbacks, or nightmares. These experiences may be brief but intense, causing the person to feel overwhelmed or unable to concentrate.

6. Self-Sabotaging Behaviors: People with repressed trauma may engage in unhealthy coping mechanisms such as substance abuse, overeating, or self-harm. These behaviors can be an unconscious attempt to numb or distract from the underlying emotional pain.

7. Difficulty Trusting Others: A pervasive sense of distrust or fear of vulnerability can arise from unresolved trauma. If someone’s traumatic experiences involved betrayal or abandonment, they may find it hard to trust others, even in healthy relationships.

Why Do We Repress Trauma?

The mind’s tendency to repress trauma is often a survival mechanism. When faced with a traumatic experience, especially one that occurs at a young age, the brain may block out the memory to avoid the emotional overload that would otherwise occur. This is particularly common when the trauma is too overwhelming to process in the moment.

There are several factors that contribute to repressed trauma:

• Age: Children, in particular, may not have the emotional or cognitive maturity to fully understand or process traumatic events, leading the mind to suppress the memory for later.

• Social or Cultural Factors: Some cultures or family structures may discourage the expression of pain or vulnerability, leading individuals to suppress their feelings rather than confront them.

• Denial of the Event: Sometimes, people may convince themselves that an event didn’t really happen or wasn’t as harmful as it was, which can lead to the repression of the trauma.

• Fear of Consequences: In cases of abuse or violence, the person may repress the trauma out of fear of further harm or retaliation, especially if they feel powerless or helpless in the situation.

The Impact of Repressed Trauma on Mental Health

While the mind may try to protect itself by repressing trauma, the effects are far from benign. Over time, repressed trauma can manifest in various psychological and emotional problems, including:

• Chronic Depression: Unresolved trauma can create a persistent feeling of sadness, hopelessness, or despair. Without processing the trauma, individuals may struggle to find meaning or purpose in life.

• Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD): Even if the memory of trauma is repressed, the body and mind can still experience the aftereffects. Symptoms of PTSD—such as hypervigilance, flashbacks, and emotional numbing—can arise, often triggered by reminders of the trauma.

• Relationship Issues: Repressed trauma can impact how individuals relate to others. Fear of rejection, abandonment, or intimacy issues can all stem from unresolved past trauma, making it difficult to build healthy, trusting relationships.

• Difficulty with Boundaries: People with repressed trauma may have trouble setting appropriate emotional or physical boundaries with others, either because they were taught to ignore their own needs or because they struggle with recognizing what is healthy.

Healing from Repressed Trauma

Healing from repressed trauma can be a challenging but profoundly liberating process. It often requires bringing unconscious pain into conscious awareness, which may be difficult but is essential for emotional healing. Here are some steps toward healing:

1. Therapy: Working with a trained therapist, especially one experienced in trauma, can help individuals uncover repressed memories and emotions. Techniques like trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), and somatic therapy are often used to address repressed trauma.

2. Journaling: Writing can help people express what they may not yet be able to say out loud. Journaling allows individuals to process their emotions in a safe, private way, and sometimes repressed memories may surface during this process.

3. Mindfulness and Meditation: Grounding practices like mindfulness can help individuals become more aware of their emotional state and body sensations. These practices can offer insight into how repressed trauma may be showing up in their lives.

4. Building a Support System: Creating a network of supportive friends, family members, or support groups is critical in the healing process. Talking about the trauma in a safe and nonjudgmental space can provide comfort and validation.

5. Self-Compassion: Healing requires patience and kindness toward oneself. Recognizing that it’s okay to not have all the answers and that healing is a journey can ease the burden of shame or guilt that often accompanies repressed trauma.

Conclusion

Repressed trauma may feel hidden, but it’s never truly gone. While it can be difficult to confront the pain of the past, acknowledging and addressing repressed trauma is key to healing and reclaiming emotional well-being. Understanding that repressed trauma isn’t a reflection of weakness, but rather a survival mechanism, can empower individuals to begin the difficult yet rewarding process of healing. With support, self-compassion, and the right tools, it’s possible to bring these hidden wounds into the light and create space for peace and growth.

If you or someone you know is experiencing trauma-related nightmares, I hope this article has been helpful.

If you’re interested in getting to know more about trauma and our treatment options, please reach out to schedule your FREE consultation today.

Wishing you well on your journey 🫶🏽